Hence embedded in the divine and righteous Man Chair smoking a Montecristo Cabinet Toro, slurping Nicaraguan coffee and staring out the Havana Room window at 15+ inches of snow on the ground, I am briefly distracted by the local newsbabe on the tube trying not to hyperventilate while she rehashes the snowfall totals and emergency declarations.
While I stare at the TV through the rich aromatic cigar smoke, my brain drifting back and forth between the doppler radar images and concocted images of what the newsbabe would like like in a Victoria's Secret push-up bra and matching thong, another vision pops into my under-caffeinated brain.
It's late 2009 and I am holed up with the Cretins in the Havana Room wallowing in my own ash covered stink following a weekend cigar and bourbon bender when somebody, it doesn't matter who, came up with the idea. The next two months are a blur until we find ourselves being air dropped on to the upper Mahoning Creek in north central Pennsylvania. Our provisions include cigars, coffee, and Spicy Sweet Chili Doritos. Our mission: terminate a rogue groundhog who has become "unhinged." His name is Kurtz, but his followers know him as Phil. We are equipped with various small arms, shoulder fired buck-tooth seeking missiles, and an M107 .50 cal Long Range Sniper Rifle.
After two days adrift, (because somebody dropped us up Mahoning Creek without a paddle) the current carried us to the outskirts of Punxsutawney very early on the morning of February 2nd. We devise a plan to disguise ourselves as drunken revelers in order to gain access to the perimeter surrounding Phil's controlled compound, Gobbler's Knob. It takes us approximately ten seconds to don our disguise.
What transpires over the next seven hours becomes the stuff of legend. The danger. The intrigue. The precision. Amid the height of the celebration, the intoxicated chaos and the ritual, a single shot timed perfectly with the knock of a cane on the tree stump door and it was done. All they found, in a nearby thicket, was a single cigar band. A calling card? Maybe. It read Gurkha Assassin.
If only. But for now, it's back to the newsbabe for the latest snow totals. Yeah, I got your 15 inches right here!
Up to our robustos in global warming, it's Blowin' Smoke #102!
With a trail carved in the snow and the aroma of Torcedor Coffee leading to the famed Havana Room, we gathered again for another herf excursion. This time the Cigar of the Day was the Alec Bradley Prensado Corona Gorda. The last time we sparked an Alec Bradley it didn't rate so well. What did the Council of Cretins think about this rather new Alec Bradley stick? Listen to find out.
Also on BS #102, we announced the winner in the Rocky's Bitch contest who scored a box of Rocky Patel Vintage 1990 Toro Tubos signed by Rocky Patel himself. Very cool! Plus, there is a brand new Cigar Match AND your chance to vote for the Cigar Match 2009 Grand Champion and possibly win a Freako Five Pack of cigars too!
Along with help from our friends on Twitter, we compared the value of a Winston Churchill cigar butt with a cigar butt left by El Freako and the Cretins, cigars to smoke with Al Gore while out shoveling global warming, and free Blackberry smart phones from the government to help you quit smoking. What? And don't forget a new 5 Things, this time submitted by a loyal Blowin' Smoke listener. Plus email and voicemail too!
So, light up a fine cigar and commence herfing with your friends on Blowin' Smoke #102!
With record snowfall in the Burgh, we counter with copious amounts of cigar smoke for Blowin' Smoke #103!
We cooked up a pot of Torcedor Coffee and sparked up the latest Cigar of the Day...the Nestor Miranda Special Selection Coffee Break. In cigar news, Fast Eddy is at it again in Pennsylvania looking to tax cigars AGAIN for the second time in as many years. We have his phone number for you to tell him what you think.
We also talked about the huge Olympic controversy...chicks and cigars! Oh, the humanity! Check the evidence HERE. Really, do you have a problem with that?? Plus, Girl Scout Cookies, curvy women are crack, and strange male rights of passage. Ouch!
Congratulations to Michael Howe! He won a 'pre-seasoned' ashtray and a Freako 5 Pack of Cuba Aliados Toro De Luxe in our Fan Pics contest!
Plus, 5 Things from listener, Acey! Here is the visual portion of his '5 Hot Winter Olympians." One. Two. Three. Four. Five.
So, spark up a favorite seegar and join us for Blowin' Smoke #103!